At an early age we are actively encouraged to have a role model.

As we mature, it’s clear that those around us influence the person that we become. As we move into adulthood with responsibilities, desires and at times an overarching anxiety of what the future looks like.
It’s clear that we are urged to seek a role model that we can mould against.

I instantly see this image of us all lined up in a warehouse fitting into prepopulated moulds that define who we are.

I appreciate that having someone to aspire too can be motivational.
However, I also find it difficult to get on board with.

Imagine you’re buying a house, as you stand outside viewing this prospective home, you see the exterior is exactly what you wanted, and you buy it. Afterwards, you step inside, you see damage, mould, it’s inhabitable. Yet, on the outside it was the dream home.
If we are being realistic with ourselves, isn’t this what a role model can represent?

We get to see a snapshot of their achievements, of what they decide to project. We rarely get to see their struggles, the hurdles they’ve had to climb. But most importantly, we don’t get to see how they feel inside.

Once my research continued, it was surprising to see that the specific function of a role model was limited – We all have them, yet we don’t know what to do with them.

When I consider my own thoughts around a role model, I find myself facing the mirror.

The only thing that I can control is the here and now, I can control how I react to my surroundings, I can actively decide if my experiences both positive and negative will influence how I interact with the world around me.

As I construct my own idea of a role-model I find myself looking at a version of me, a “possible” self, based on my own needs, goals and focusing on my individual development that is not comparable to anyone else’s experiences.

What would it be like if we gave ourselves the opportunity to be our own role model?